As I’ve worked with my coach over the past year I have tried to mindfully start making small shifts in the language I use. She’s great at coaching me and hearing the nuances of what and how I’m saying something. I’m still a work in progress, but being aware of the nuances and slight shifts in our language, even how we speak to ourselves, can lead to much more peace.
In Irish when you talk about emotion, you don’t say, ‘I am sad’. You’d say, ‘sadness is on me’ ‘tá bron orm’. And I love that because there’s an implication of not identifying yourself with the emotion fully. I am not sad, it’s just that sadness is on me for a while. Something else will be on me another time, and that’s a good thing to recognize.-P. Ó Tuama
A close friend of mine shared this quote on her socials this week, and it was a stark reminder for me as I am going through a stressful situation.
You might not think that the nuances we use in our language could be so important, but it really is. Think of the difference in saying “I am sad”, versus “sadness is on me.”
What P.O Tuama says is very wise about not identifying ourselves with the emotion fully.
Now I don’t mean we don’t need to experience the emotion. We need to experience all the emotions we have fully, BUT we don’t need to make them a part of our identity.
I think this is what he means when he says not identifying ourselves with the emotion fully. Yes we need to experience it and not repress or suppress the emotion. Suppression or repression of our emotions will just lead to suffering mentally, spiritually, and physically. But our emotion cannot define our identity, our worth.
Part of losing nuance in our language might stem from our hurried and fast paced culture so over time we have chosen to verbalize something as quickly as possible, but we lose a lot of meaning when we don’t consider how a slight shift in our language can also shift our mindsets.
Consider how many times you say “I have to do ……” or “I have to go….” What if you made the smallest shift and instead say “I get to do…..” or I get to go….”
As I’ve worked with my coach over the past year I have tried to mindfully start making small shifts in the language I use. I’m definitely a work in progress and am still working on it in some areas, but consistent work is what brings transformation.
Even a small change in the language I’m using can make a big difference in the stress I’m feeling about something or the frustration or tension I experience with another person. When I remove the emotion from my identity and worth I can see the situation from a different perspective.
As a coach I get to walk alongside people who are feeling stressed or overwhelmed and help them discover the small steps they can see their true worth and value and how they can live with more peace.
I have a few remaining spots open for individual coaching (and team/group coaching). If you are interested in learning more, click here to schedule a free discovery consultation call. You will leave at the end of the call understanding why understanding yourself and the why behind what you do is the first step to moving past feeling overwhelmed and stressed to living with more peace.