Do you know your true worth?
Whether consciously or unconsciously, do you base your worth on your paycheck? Or your success? Or your productivity & how much you can get done? Or how many games you win if you’re an athlete? Or how other people are succeeding or what others have or are doing? The list could go on.
We don’t base the value of someone with special needs like Down’s syndrome on how much they achieve do we? No. We value them even more because of the amazing gift they are to the world.
Why on earth then do we determine our own worth by our paycheck, our achievements, our success, what we create and produce, or how we compare to others, etc?
I have a theory. We live in a scarcity mindset when it comes to knowing our own worth. I know I do. It’s something I’m working on overcoming.
We listen to negative words about us from others. Of course the persons speaking those over us do not realize how their words can damage our spirits. We compare ourselves to others. What’s the old saying? “Comparison is the thief of joy?”
What other people say about us or to us has zero to do with our worth.
When we compare ourselves to others, all we are doing is questioning how God created us.
Another symptom of scarcity mindset is something I have observed within myself as well as others. Our first reaction when we don’t agree with someone is to label them as bad or wrong.
We devalue their worth because we don’t agree with their beliefs or religion or lifestyle. We may not do this consciously, but it happens whether we are aware of it or not.
Our ego stuck in a dualistic mindset subconsciously thinks if we devalue someone else because they are different or do not believe what we believe then it somehow raises our own worth.
If we want to understand how we see our own worth, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves about the worth and value we see in others. In reality, all devaluing someone else does is continue to devalue our own self worth. It continues the downward spiral into even more of a scarcity mindset.
I’ve lived with a scarcity mindset about my worth and value for as long as I can remember. Part of this is due to my personality. As an Enneagram One, I have always had this inner critic telling me that I’m not good enough or I’m not doing a good enough job. I call this inner critic “little Amy.” Thanks to the work I’ve done through the Enneagram and working with my own coach I now understand that while this part of my personality thinks it is trying to help, it ultimately sabotages me.
And honestly? I’m tired of living with this scarcity mindset about my worth and value. Whether it be work or any other situation, when I go into it with the scarcity mindset that I am not good enough it gives other people permission to treat me as if I have no worth or value. I’ve experienced this very recently in a situation. Plus it keeps me in a downward spiral of being critical of others and myself.
Please don’t misunderstand me. Knowing your own worth isn’t pride when we know our worth is found in Christ. If we are created in God’s image, if we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and if before we were formed God knew us, we have worth simply because we are.
Knowing our worth may mean there will be times we have to stand up to people to keep them from running over us. I don’t think Christ meant to allow people to run over you when he said turn the other cheek. I think he meant to let go of any reaction you have to the situation. You can still take action and create boundaries without having an internal reaction to what is happening. People won’t like you when you set boundaries with them. It won’t be comfortable. Believe me I know this first hand, but it is necessary.
My worth does not come from anything external. This is knowing that my worth is based in Christ and not anything I do on my own or how I achieve or produce or perform or what other people say about me.
As a coach I use the tool of the Enneagram to help others discover that their worth is not based on what they do or what others say or what they achieve. I love seeing people understand themselves a little more each session and discover the beautiful gifts and strengths God created them with to share with the world.
What about you? Can you see times in your life where you were living with a scarcity mindset about your own worth and value?
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